Cute witty short funny jokes for all persons like best joke, hindi joke, dog jokes, good knock knock jokes, sinhala jokes and more...

Clean Jokes loading.
Please wait...



good knock knock jokes

good knock knock jokes

good knock knock jokes

good knock knock jokes

good knock knock jokes







Cute witty short funny jokes for all persons like best joke, hindi joke, dog jokes, good knock knock jokes, sinhala jokes and more...

Harry Hill rise up Jokes

A dolphin can appear of the water for a chunk of fish, imagine what he'd do for a few chips.

A tip to all or any new mothers - do not place your baby in bed with you as a result of you may go to sleep, roll thereon and place your back out!

Alan, fancy a game of: No you go first?

Apple left the fruit union did alright mmm mmm! Got a pie, got a sauce...

Apparently you'll be able to tell lots concerning someone's temperament from what they are like...

Apparently, there is enough poison in a very crab, to kill a crab.

But Alan! If you are here, whose grooming the badgers prepared for the badger parade?

But what if mount Kingsley of clown union notice out?

If you get a letter and you do not grasp WHO it's from, simply run once the delivery boy and shout "1471"!

I ne'er saw a lot of of my grand father... as a result of he was excellent at hiding!

I was doing a little decorating, thus I got out my step-ladder. i do not get on with my real ladder.

Bowl... Mole... Fole... GOAL!

Mangetouts eh? Mangetouts, they are pretty are not they? however could not eat a full one.

My auntie accustomed say, 'What you cannot see, cannot hurt you'...well, she died of radiation poisining some months back!

My pater accustomed say 'always fight fireplace with fire', that is maybe why he got thrown out of the the hearth brigade.

My pater unbroken bees, not for the honey, no, for the fur!

My father accustomed like my mother to induce dressed up as a nurse. Then he accustomed like her to travel resolute work... as a nurse! Brought in some more money...

My father accustomed notify ME continually fight fireplace with fireplace. and that is why he was thrown out of the hearth brigade.

My mother was a lolly-pop woman... and by that I mean she had an extended skinny body, and a big, fat, sticky head.

Nelson Mandela - a lot of of these crazy shirts please!

...Not extremely after all - the facility of suggestion!

Of course if you drop a bible from a height you'll be able to kill a field mouse; thus perhaps the bible is not all sensible.

Owls Good, Badgers Bad!

Remember once Sellotape came out? American state, the excitement!

Rory McGrath... He naturally funny, he do not would like gimmick like massive collar or pens in high pocket. He funny. He do not got to be post-modern!

Swan - long neck! Goose - long neck! raptorial bird - short neck, however swivels round!

The factor concerning opiate is... it is very morish, apparently

Too tiny for the role of Pastachio, not wavy enough to be a Cashew...The Almond.

Well, I've had a terrible week. I've had that, erm, Anthrax, have you ever had that? symptom, blood within the excretory product, the liver was disintegrating... and that i found the sole factor that basically helped... was Lemsip. simply took the sting off.

Well i used to be hangdog in class, referred to as every kind of various names. however sooner or later I turned to my bullies and aforesaid - 'Sticks and stones could break my bones however names can ne'er hurt me', and it worked! From there thereon was sticks and stones all the approach.

What is it concerning those who repair shoes, that build them thus sensible at cutting keys?

When you purchase a V-neck sweater there is a V of fabric missing. you recognize what they are doing with that? They send it to Ann Summers and she or he makes those fancy pants.

Zenibab Badawi, Brian William Harvey...You've got to possess a system...I ought to 'ave ME own key tho', should not I?



Henry Youngman rise up Jokes

Airport Jokes

Getting on a plane, I told the price tag woman, "Send one among my baggage to big apple, send one to l.  a.  , and send one to Miami." She said, "We cannot do that!" I told her, "You did it last week!"

I was simply in London - there's a six hour time distinction. i am still confused. once I head to dinner, I feel horny. once I head to bed, I feel hungry.

The food on the plane was fit  a king. "Here, King!"

Doctor Jokes

A doctor gave a person six months to measure. the person could not pay his bill, thus he gave him another six months.

My doctor grabbed ME by the pocketbook and aforesaid, "Cough!"

The Doctor referred to as Mrs. Cohen spoken language, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back." Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!"

The Doctor says, "You'll live to be 60!" "I AM 60!" "See, what did I tell you?"

A doctor says to a person, "You need to enhance your love life? you would like to induce some exercise. Run 10 miles on a daily basis." time period later, the person referred to as the doctor. The doctor says, "How is your sexual activity since you've got been running?" "I do not know, i am a hundred and forty miles away!"

The patient says, "Doctor, it hurts once I try this." "Then do not do that!"

The doctor says to the patient, "Take your garments off and stick your tongue out the window". "What can that do?" asks the patient. The doctor says, "I'm mad at my neighbor!"

A doctor features a medical instrument up to a man's chest. the person asks, "Doc, however do I stand?" The doctor says, "That's what puzzles me!"

"Doctor, my leg hurts. What am i able to do?" The doctor says, "Limp!"

Doctor says to a person, "You're pregnant!" the person says, "How will a person get pregnant?" The doctor says, "The usual approach - alittle wine, alittle dinner...."

A man goes to a specialist. "Nobody listens to me!" The doctor says, "Next!"

A man goes to a specialist. The doctor says, "You're crazy" the person says, "I desire a second opinion!" "Okay, you are ugly too!"

"Doctor, I actually have a ringing in my ears." "Don't answer!"

Nurse: "Doctor, the person you only gave a clean bill of health to born dead right as he was feat the office". Doctor: "Turn him around, build it seem like he was walking in."

I know a man WHO had his doctor say, "Take some weight off, head to a spa." the person lost twenty pounds in one week! The machine moulding his leg off!

Drinking Jokes

A drunk was before of a choose. The choose say,s "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says, "Okay, let's start."

Another drunk goes up to a timer, puts in a very quarter, the dial goes to sixty. The drunk says, "Huh. I lost a hundred pounds!"

Family Jokes

I simply arrived from a day trip. I took my mother to the airdrome.

My son is twenty one. He'll be twenty two if I let him.

My son complains concerning headaches. I tell him all the time, once you get out of bed, it's feet first!

I want my brother would learn a trade, thus i might grasp what reasonably work he is out of.

My brother was a attender in a very automotive wash.

My brother then opened a tall man's look in Tokio.

My brother then bought one thousand Japanese cameras. all of them go, "Crick".

My alternative relative-in-law died. He was a martial art knowledgeable, then joined the military. the primary time he saluted, he killed himself.

Golf Jokes

The other day I stone-broke seventy. that is lots of clubs.

I was taking part in golf. I swung, incomprehensible  the ball, and got a giant chunk of dirt. I swung once more, incomprehensible  the ball, and got another massive chunk of dirt. Just then, two ants climbed on the ball spoken language, "Let's stand up here before we tend to get killed!"

Hollywood Jokes

Hollywood referred to as ME, asking me, "How a lot of to try and do a picture show with Farrah Fawcett?" "$50,000" They referred to as back, "How concerning $20,000?" I aforesaid, "I'll pay it!"

Farrah's room was next to mine. There was alittle hole within the wall. I let her look.

I'm currently creating a someone pornography film. 10% Sex, 90% guilt.

Homeless Guys Jokes

A bum asked ME, "Give ME $10 until day." I asked, "When's payday?" He aforesaid, "I do not know, you are the one WHO is working!"

A bum came up to ME spoken language, "I haven't devoured in 2 days!" I aforesaid, "You ought to force yourself!"

Another bum told ME, "I haven't tasted food all week." I told him, "Don't worry, it still tastes the same!"

Another bum asked ME, "Can I actually have $300 for a cup of coffee?" I told him, "Coffee's a quarter!" The bum aforesaid, "Yeah, however i need to drink it in Brazil!"

I was walking down the road, and that i found a man's hand in my pocket. I asked, "What does one want?" "A match" "Why did not you raise me?" "I do not talk over with strangers."

Horse Race Jokes

I compete an excellent horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.

The horse I wager was thus slow, the jockey unbroken a diary of the trip.

My horse's jockey was touching the horse. The horse turns around and says "Why {are|ar|area unit|square MEasure} you touching me, there's no one behind us!"

That was the primary time I saw a horse begin from a kneel position!

My horse was thus late obtaining home, he tiptoed into the stable.

I don't mind once my horse is left at the post. i do not mind once my horse comes up to ME within the stands and asks, "Which approach do I go?" however once the horse I wager is at the $2 window looking on another horse within the same race...

Hotel Jokes

The edifice i am in features a pretty closet. A nail.

There was a woman sound on my bedchamber door all night! Finally, I let her out.

I have a beautiful space and tub within the edifice. it is a very little inconvenient, they are in 2 separate buildings!

This is a sublime hotel! space service has associate degree unlisted variety.

My space is thus tiny, the mice ar kyphotic.

The room is thus tiny, once I place the key in, I stone-broke the window!

Insults

"What's the most recent dope on Wall Street?" "My son!"

Was that suit created to order? wherever were you at the time?

You have the ability. Everything you bit turns to a muffler.

If you had your life to measure once more, lie with overseas.

She's been married numerous times she has rice marks on her face.

She features a wash and wear wedding gown.

You have a prepared wit. Tell ME once it's prepared.

You seem like a recruiter for a necropolis.

You have a pleasant temperament, however not for somebody's being.

The a lot of i believe of you, the less i believe of you.

Where did you get your haircut, the pet shop?

Is that your hat or ar you sporting a cabana?

Italian Jokes

A bomb fell on European nation. It fell off!

During the war associate degree Italian woman saved my life. She hid ME in her basement in Cleveland.

Why will the New Italian navy have glass bottom boats? to examine the Old Italian Navy!

Jewish Jokes

A someone lady had two chickens. One got sick, that the lady created soup out of the opposite one to assist the sick one restore.

A someone man pulls up to the curb and asks the lawman, "Can I park here?" "No" says the cop. "What concerning of these alternative cars?" "They did not ask!"

Why do someone divorces value thus much? they are worthwhile.

Why do someone men die before their wives? they need to.

Why do not Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering.

I asked a someone man, "Do you recognize wherever Michigan Avenue is?" He aforesaid, "Yes", and walked away.

A automotive hit a someone man. The paramedical says, "Are you comfortable?" the person says, "I build a decent living."

2 someone girls in big apple. One says, "Do you see what is going on on in Poland?" the opposite says, "I board the rear, i do not see something."

Polish Jokes

In a blackout, a Polish man was stuck on associate degree escalator for 2 hours. I asked him, "Why did not you walk down?" He aforesaid, "because i used to be going up!"

Have you seen the new Polish jigsaw puzzle? One piece.

Two Santa Clauses on the corner. however are you able to tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.

A Polish terrorist was sent to enlarge a automotive. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!

A Polish man bought a equine for a pet. What will he decision the zebra? Spot!

Two Polish men at day with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for tater.

A Polish guy fast his keys within the automotive. It took associate degree hour to induce his adult female out.

How do Polish folks spell farm? E-I-E-I-O

Are you Polish? Okay, i will speak slower.

A Polish man in a very chopper. Goes up to 800 feet. Down it comes! What happened? "It got chilly up there, thus I turned off the fan!"

A Polish man had a bandage on every ear. What happened? "I was ironing, and therefore the phone rang!" "What concerning the opposite ear?" "Had to decision the doctor!"

A Polish man had his cutting out done at Sears. currently once he makes love, the garage door goes up.

Wife Jokes

My adult female is associate degree earth sign. i am a water sign. along we tend to build mud.

A woman says to a person, "I haven't seen you around here." "Yes, I simply got out of jail for killing my adult female." "So you are single!"

Take my adult female, please!

I've been married for forty nine years. wherever have I failed?

I've been enamored with constant lady for forty nine years. If my adult female each finds out, she'll kill me!

My adult female and that i have the key to creating a wedding last. twofold every week, we tend to head to a pleasant eating house, alittle wine, good food. She goes Tuesdays, i'm going Fridays.

Someone scarf all my credit cards, however I will not be news it. The criminal spends but my adult female did.

I take my adult female everyplace, however she keeps finding her approach back.

I asked my adult female, "Where does one need to travel for our anniversary?" She aforesaid, "Somewhere I actually have ne'er been!" I told her, "How concerning the kitchen?"

We continually hold hands. If I relinquishing, she shops.

My adult female features a black belt in looking.

My adult female can purchase something marked down. Last year she bought associate degree escalator.

All my adult female will is look - once she was sick for every week, and 3 stores went below.

She has an electrical liquidizer, electrical toaster, electrical baker. Then she aforesaid, "There ar too several gadgets, and no place to sit down down! thus what did I do? Bought her an electrical chair.

My adult female likes to shop Bloomingdale's. I bring her mail there doubly every week.

My adult female and that i we tend tont back to the edifice wherever we spent our nighttime. solely this point, I stayed within the rest room and cried.

My adult female drives the incorrect approach on a 1 approach street. The cop force her over and asked, "Where ar you going?" My adult female aforesaid, "I should be late, everyone seems to be all returning back!"

My adult female told ME the automotive wasn't running well, there was water within the carburettor. I asked wherever the automotive was, and she or he told ME it had been within the lake.

My adult female and that i visited a edifice wherever we tend to got a waterbed. My adult female referred to as it the lake.

My adult female is on a brand new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, however will she climb a tree!

She was at the wonder buy 2 hours. That was just for the estimate.

She got a mudpack and looked nice for 2 days. Then the mud fell off.

She ran once the rubbish truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" "No, jump in!"

I bought my adult female alittle Italian automotive. A Mafia. it's a hood below the hood.

Three weeks agone, she learned the way to drive. Last week she learned the way to aim it.

I came home, the automotive was within the feeding space. "How did you get the automotive in here?" "Easy, I took a left at the room."

Work connected Jokes

If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill ME. She thinks i am commerce dope.

I know a person WHO could be a diamond cutter. He mows the field at yank construction.

Henry Youngman Comedy Bits

A very little someone granny is at the Everglade State coast together with her little someone grandchild. The grandchild is taking part in on the beach once a giant wave comes and washes the child resolute ocean. The lifeguards swim out, bring him back to shore, the paramedics work on him for an extended time, pumping the water out, revitalizing him. They address the someone granny, and say, "we saved your grandchild." the miscroscopic someone granny says, "He had a hat!"

A man calls a lawyer's workplace. The phone is answered, "Schwartz, Schwartz, Schwartz and Schwartz." the person says, "Let ME talk over with Mr. Schwartz." "I'm sorry, he is on vacation." "Then let ME talk over with Mr. Schwartz." "He's on a giant case, not accessible for every week." "Then let ME talk over with Mr. Schwartz." "He's taking part in golf these days." "Okay, then, let ME talk over with Mr. Schwartz." "Speaking."

A guy complains of a headache. Another guy says, "Do what I do. I place my head on my wife's bosom, and therefore the headache goes away." subsequent day, the person says, "Did you are doing what I told you to?" "Yes, I sure did. By the way, you've got a pleasant house!"

An Israeli soldier WHO simply noncommissioned asked the military officer for a three day pass. The CO says, "Are you crazy? you only be a part of the Israeli army, associate degreed you already desire a three day pass? you want to do one thing spectacular for that recognition!" that the thusldier comes back on a daily basis later in an Arab tank! The CO was so affected, he asked, "How did you are doing it?" "Well, I jumped in a very tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, associate degreed saw an Arab tank. I place my flag up, the Arab tank place his flag up. I aforesaid to the Arab soldier, "Do you wish to induce a three day pass?" thus we tend to changed tanks!

A little man is running a jewellery store. a person runs in spoken language, "Okay, take my watch, placed on a brand new band, install a brand new battery, clean the case, install a brand new crystal, and tune it up. i will be able to be back in a very [*fr1] hour for it. Thanks!" and runs out the door. the miscroscopic jeweler says, "C-C-C-Come in?"

A priest is shipped to Last Frontier. A bishop goes up to go to one year later. The bishop asks, "How does one love it up here?" The priest says, "If it wasn't for my beads, and a couple of martinis on a daily basis, i would be lost. Bishop, would you prefer a martini?" "Yes." "Rosary, get the bishop a martini!"

A honeymoon couple is within the Watergate scandal edifice in Washington, wherever they hoped to search out a hall wherever they may play their favorite beano games. The bride is concerned: "What if the place continues to be bugged?" The groom says, "I'll rummage around for a bug". He appearance behind the drapes, behind the images, below the floor covering - "AHA!" below the floor covering was a disc with four screws. He gets his swiss army knife, unscrews the screws, throws them and therefore the disc out the window. subsequent morning, the decision maker asks the newlyweds, "How was your room?", "How was the service?", "How was your occupy the Watergate scandal Hotel?" The groom says, "Why {are|ar|area unit|square MEasure} you asking me all of those questions?" The decision maker says, "Well, the space below you complained of the pendant falling on them!"

good knock knock jokes

good knock knock jokes

good knock knock jokes